There are many reasons why Taylor Swift’s engagement to Travis Kelce has brought wild, uncontrollable, Instagram-saturating joy to the world. But, the big one? The fact that, for years, she’s been writing incredible songs about all the relationships that didn’t work out; songs that every woman can relate to, hard.
Now, if she’s finally happy, that must mean that we all can be too. In a world of heartache, pain and reality TV faux-mances, Swift and Kelce’s love story is one we’re all invested in.
The truth is, Swift, 35, hasn’t really had any more boyfriends than your average busy, attractive, successful woman — it’s just that we know a lot about them. Her boyfriend vault might be full of household names with big reputations but, ultimately, they’re just men who represent tropes familiar to every woman who’s spent an evening (or a decade) swiping left.
While the relationships didn’t work out, they certainly aren’t failures. In fact, they have brought huge success — not just in the songs Swift has released about them but in getting her one step closer to what she wanted: a big grinning football player with a talent for making friendship bracelets.
Looking back, we can understand that to get to Kelce, a man who initially seemed like a curveball for Swift due to his jock status, she had to experience some familiar rites of passage.
Below, see the boyfriend archetypes Swift dated before getting engaged to Kelce:
The One Before The One: Joe Alwyn
Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn in 2019 Jackson Lee/GC Images
Swift’s relationship with British actor Alwyn, now 34, seemed like it was the real deal. The fact that it was more private than most of her previous romances — not to mention lasted a lot longer (six years!) — had Swifties convinced he was The One. But, he wasn’t. Crucial difference: he was the one before The One, the big relationship that gives you a practice run at adulting, who’s with you through some of life’s biggest milestones (in Swift’s case, turning 30) and who ultimately makes you realize what you do and don’t want long-term.
When things end with the one before The One, it can be heartbreaking, with the future you imagined now so uncertain. But when you dust yourself off, you’ll be older, wiser and ready to learn what a tight end is.
The Bad Boy: Matty Healy
Taylor Swift and Matty Healy in 2023 Robert Kamau/GC Images
For most women, the bad boy is a twinkly-eyed mechanic they met at the grocery store or a tattooed bartender who just can’t commit. In Swift’s case, he was Healy, now 36, frontman of The 1975, and one of the biggest rock stars on the planet. Dating someone your friends hate and your parents don’t approve of is fun, naughty, sexy, exhilarating and, above all else, necessary to get you where you need to be. They also provide great material: for an album, or just for gossip fodder at cocktail night after the whole sorry thing has inevitably blown up. Again.
Taylor Swift moved on with Matty Healy following her split from Joe Alwyn, but the duo’s relationship fizzled out as quickly as it began. Swift dated Alwyn for six years before Us Weekly confirmed their breakup in April 2023. One month later, the pop star was linked to Healy, the lead singer of The 1975. […]
The Ego Boost: Harry Styles
Harry Styles and Taylor Swift in 2012 ©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM
When Swift dated Styles for a few months at the tail end of 2012, One Direction had just broken through in the U.S. and he was one of the biggest heartthrobs in the world. He was only 18 at the time, while Swift was (literally and feeling) 22 and each made the other look even more desirable and cool than they already were. Was it ever going to last? Probably not, but it was seriously hot while it did, and who could possibly regret a three-month fling with Taylor Swift or Harry Styles?
The Future Friend: Taylor Lautner
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner in 2009 Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage
After meeting while shooting the movie Valentine’s Day in 2009, the Taylors dated for a few months — but their relationship has long since been overshadowed by many other romances and by the fact that they are way better as friends. Most unmarried women in their 30s have a male friend or two whom they have a little spicy history with and, if you’re not famous, it could even slip your mind to mention it to future love interests. But, if you are? Well, Google’s going to do that for you, so you might as well embrace it and even invite your cute ex on stage for your record-crushing world tour.
The Older Man: John Mayer
Taylor Swift and John Mayer in 2009 Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for VEVO
When you’re coming of age or going through a big life transition — say, college to the office, or country success to global popstardom — the interests of an older man can be extremely flattering, making you feel mature, sophisticated and seen. And if that older man happens to be hot, talented and famous for his A-list relationships? You are toast. Thirteen might be her lucky number, but as an age gap, Swift quickly realized it wasn’t such a flex. (She was 19 when she dated 32-year-old Mayer in 2009.) We’ve all done it; we just didn’t all write a great song about it afterward that made them feel “terrible.”
Taylor Swift‘s exes have been very vocal about whether or not they enjoy being the singer’s muses. Swift’s 10-month-long relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal is heavily rumored to be the inspiration behind the breakup song “All Too Well” from 2012’s Red. When asked about his ex in a March 2017 interview with The Guardian, Gyllenhaal gave […]
The One Who Got Away (Not Least With Your Scarf): Jake Gyllenhaal
The crushing experience that Swift describes in her song “All Too Well” is so familiar to anyone who’s loved and lost someone they thought had soulmate potential. You’re convinced that you’re a perfect match — everybody thinks so! — and then … boom, your heart is broken and your neck is freezing. It’s hard not to feel bitter, even years later. If Swift and Gyllenhaal, now 44, had met a decade later, would things have worked out? Maybe, but we wouldn’t have Red, and that just doesn’t bear thinking about. Thanks for taking one for the team, Tay.
Taylor Swift’s relationship history is made up of many different types of men, including a British crooner, a Kennedy, an Avengers villain and a movie werewolf. Swift has been linked to massive stars, such as Harry Styles and Joe Jonas, in addition to lesser-known names like Conor Kennedy. All of her past relationships have shaped […]
Of course, these aren’t Swift’s only famous boyfriends — Joe Jonas, Tom Hiddleston and Calvin Harris all played their parts too, along with the non-famous guys who probably can’t believe they actually dated her in high school — but they’re the ones who feel like the most significant milestones on her long, colorful journey to happiness with Kelce, 35.
The question is, where does Swift appear in their own romantic back catalogs? To them, was she a bad girl? A high-profile mistake? Or just an amazing story to impress the grandchildren with?
