Are you a music teacher who loves to tell jokes? Keep your class up-tempo with this collection of our favorite corny music jokes collected from our favorite teachers.
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Choral Music Jokes
1. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
2. What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
3. Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes.
4. What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
5. What makes songs but never sings?
Notes.
6. What makes pirates such good singers?
They can hit the high Cs.
7. Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
8. How can you tell if a singer’s at your door?
They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
9. Why did the chorus hire the baseball player?
Because he had perfect pitch.
Music Jokes About Animals
10. What musical keys do cows sing in?
Beef flat.
11. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
12. What do you call a musical insect?
A humbug.
13. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
14. What’s big and gray with horns?
An elephant marching band.
15. What kind of music do bunnies like?
Hip-hop.
16. What is the musical part of a snake?
Its scales.
17. What’s a cat’s favorite subject at school?
Mew-sic.
18. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive music collection?
A “rock”osaurus.
19. What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra.
20. What do you call a fish that plays piano?
A piano tuna.
21. What music do lions like?
Country lion dance music.
22. What do you get if you cross a mole with a sheet of music?
A mole-ody.
23. What part of a turkey is musical?
The drumstick.
24. What is a cat’s favorite song?
“Three Blind Mice.”
Piano Jokes
25. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can’t tuna fish!
26. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
27. Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
28. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A-flat miner.
29. What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A-flat major.
30. What has a lot of keys but can’t open doors?
A piano.
31. What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
32. Where do pianists go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
33. Where did the music teacher leave his keys?
In the piano.
Musical Instrument Jokes
34. How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
35. What did the robbers take from the music store?
The lute.
36. What has a neck but no head?
A bass.
37. What’s the most musical bone?
The trombone.
38. A guitar player told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
39. What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
40. Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
41. What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
42. What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoonteit.
43. What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
44. What’s the best Christmas present in the whole world?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!
45. What is a cucumber’s favorite instrument?
A pickle-o.
46. Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
47. Why did the musician break up with his guitar?
There were too many strings attached.
48. What do a harmonica and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
49. Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.
Classical Music Jokes About Composers
50. What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
Bach in the saddle again.
51. Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going “Bach! Bach! Bach!”
52. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
53. What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
54. There are so many jokes about a certain composer …
I could make you a Liszt.
55. What type of soap did the composer use?
Anti-BACH-terial.
56. Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
57. What did the composer do before running errands?
He made a Liszt.
58. What do you call a fungus that makes music?
A decomposer.
59. Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
Jokes About Musical Genres
60. What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
61. What do you get when you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
62. What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Wrap.
63. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
64. What do you call an elf that sings?
A wrapper.
65. What do you call clean music?
A soap opera.
66. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music?
Swing.
67. What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
68. What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music?
Guac and roll.
69. What genre of music is a national anthem?
Country music.
70. What sort of music does a mountain like?
Rock.
71. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her Rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
72. What type of music is a mouse’s least favorite in the entire world?
Trap music.
Music Theory Jokes
73. Why was the musician arrested?
Because she got in treble.
74. What did the bartender say to middle C, E flat, and G?
“Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
75. Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
Never mind—it’s too short.
76. Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
77. What do you call a set of musical dentures?
Falsetto teeth.
78. Want to hear the one about fermata?
Never mind—it’s too long.
79. Are you a major scale?
Because you are all-natural to me.
80. Why don’t musicians ever get lost?
They always follow the beat.
Funny Music Jokes for Kids
81. What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell-ightful performer.
82. What’s a musician’s favorite part of a computer?
The keyboard.
83. Which computer brand will most likely win the Grammy?
A-Dell.
84. How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
85. Why did the musician break up with his metronome?
It couldn’t keep up with the beat of his heart.
86. How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
87. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?
Feyoncé.
88. Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
89. What makes music on your hair?
A headband.
90. What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
91. What has 40 feet and sings?
The school choir.
92. Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
93. How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!
94. What do you get when you put a radio in the fridge?
Cool music.
95. What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
96. What did the conductor say when the train carrying the orchestra was late?
“It’s time to ‘choo-choo’se another mode of transportation!”
97. Why did the music teacher go to jail?
Because she got caught with A-sharp object.
98. Why did the scarecrow become a successful musician?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
99. How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
100. What’s a guitarist’s favorite dairy product?
String cheese.
Jokes About Musicals
101. Why shouldn’t you play hide-and-seek with the cast of Hamilton?
Because they’re not throwing away their spot!
102. Why isn’t Alexander Hamilton allowed to dine at all-you-can-eat buffets?
Because he will never be satisfied.
103. What do you call a cheerful version of Les Misérables?
“Less Miserable.”
104. Why did the musical win so many awards?
It was “wicked” good.
105. Why would the cast of Wicked make good astronauts?
They’re always defying gravity.
106. Guess how many times I’ve seen The Sound of Music?
Nun.
107. Why doesn’t The Phantom of the Opera have matinees?
It’s all about “The Music of the Night.”
108. Why did the actor get fired from the cast of Cats?
He kept forgetting his lines—his “memory” was terrible.
109. Which musical is Raggedy Ann’s favorite?
Hello, Dolly!
110. What did the reviewer say after he wrote a terrible review of West Side Story, focusing only on minor errors?
“I feel petty, oh so petty.”
111. Why did the man bring a ladder to the theater?
He was going to see the Fiddler on the Roof.
112. What song did the security team on the set of Star Trek like to sing?
“It’s a Guard Spock Life.”
113. What do you call a director putting on an all-rodent version of Les Misérables?
Caster of the Mouse.
114. Why did Mary Poppins’ herb garden keep dying?
Because Bert was always “stepping in thyme.”
115. What do you call a barefoot monk who has poor bone density and really bad breath?
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
116. Who played the lead in the all-bird version of the musical about P.T. Barnum?
The Greatest Crow.
117. What did they serve at the mediocre dinner theater production of Oklahoma?
“Curry That Was Singed on Top.”
118. What’s a sheep’s favorite song from The Music Man?
“Till There Was Ewe.”
119. Where did Stephen Sondheim like to walk while working on a new musical?
“Into the Woods.”
120. Why can’t you go see Grease in December?
It’s only shown on “Summer Nights.”
121. What happens when a musical cast is late to rehearsal?
They have to pay a “chorus fine.”
122. Did you hear about the protest at the musical about Juan Peron’s wife?
It was in-Evita-ble.
123. Why did they cancel the musical this weekend?
The director couldn’t pay the “rent” on the theater.
124. What Sound of Music song do bees love?
“My Favorite Stings.”
125. What musical did G.I. Joe take Barbie to see?
Guys and Dolls.
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