Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah any good football jokes? We do! In fact, we found the funniest collection of football jokes around. Share these football jokes with your students this gridiron season and enjoy a few good laughs together.
Catch you later.
Because it’s a contact sport.
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
Any given sundae.
They become referees.
6. Why did the chocolate chip cookie drop all its chips?
Because that’s the way the cookie fumbles.
The one with the biggest head.
With their tentackles.
At a foot ball.
They egg them on.
New Jersey.
They tackle them head-on.
When they play knight games.
14. What football player has very strong legs and builds houses?
A carpunter.
15. Why do coaches like punters?
Because punters always put their best foot forward.
In the Supper Bowl.
“Put me in coach!”
18. What do you call a lineman’s kid?
A chip off the old blocker.
I get a kick out of you.
A good sportsman-ship.
The fumble bee.
“Oh well, we had five good seasons together.”
The Goldfish Bowl.
24. Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch.
25. What do centers wear on their feet?
Hiking shoes.
I’ll pass.
Face masks.
28. Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor.
By standing close to the fans.
Someone was yanking his chain.
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
So he could go in as a sub.
Penaltea.
He got called for ineligible retriever downfield.
They needed a little team spirit.
36. What do you call 20 Minnesota Vikings fans in the basement?
A whine cellar.
He was a boxer.
38. Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave.
39. Which state should the Tampa Bay Buccaneers move to?
Arrrrrrrrrkansas.
40. Who is the leader of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
Captain Hook.
Every play is a Hail Mary.
There are too many cheetahs.
He was called for unnecessary gruffness.
It was tired of being kicked around.
Gridirony.
So he could tie the score.
47. What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All-porpoise yardage.
Because he broke all the records.
You’ll be charged with interference.
50. Why couldn’t the losing team get into their own parking lot?
Someone painted an end zone on it.
When he gets the catch of the day.
52. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A football coach.
53. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?
One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
54. Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism?
The guy retained possession.
Give me my quarter back!
56. The last time I played tackle football without pads, I broke three ribs and a collarbone.
Fortunately, none of them were mine.
57. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
58. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?
He was trying to make ends meet.
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes half back.
He didn’t have the guts.
When he sits on the bench.
It takes too long to put their cleats on.
63. What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
The Dallas Cowboys.
They both have fowl mouths.
Then it hit me.
66. What do you get when you cross a quarterback with a carpet?
A throw rug.
67. What do a bad football team and opossums have in common?
Both can play dead and get killed on the road.
68. What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
Let’s wrap this up.
70. Why do ballet dancers make such good NFL kickers?
They know how to split the uprights.
Because he had no body to go with.
Under the ghoul posts.
With a high five yard line.
74. What is it called when a dinosaur gets a touchdown?
A dino-score.
75. What do football players and actors have in common?
They both know how to put on a show.
76. What did the bumblebee running back say after getting a touchdown?
Hive scored.
Because he was dealing with a full deck.
78. What are successful kickers always trying to do?
Reach goals.
79. Why can’t the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play golf?
They always hook the ball.
He was a tackling dummy.
They couldn’t string three W’s together.
They hog the ball.
They’ve both been beaten.
The one with the most fans.
86. What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man?
Scoring like no one has ever seen.
A bawl club.
88. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
All the fans have left.
If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver.
Unlock the door and pull the handle.
They prefer cricket.
On the force field.
94. Why do football players struggle to eat sandwiches?
They think they can’t use their hands.
No, they’re shocking.
Astroturf.
The sideline.
98. Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike.
The quarterback sneak.
Because she always ran away from the ball.
The tackle shop.
102. Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?
Out to pass-ture.
Hide the ball—it drives them nuts.
There’s no atmosphere.
105. Which quarterback can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them. A crossbar can’t jump.
Because he liked sole music.
The Ghost of Christmas passed.
108. What’s the difference between a football player and time?
The football player runs up and down the field, but time just marches on.
A score-pion.
110. What happened to the joke the quarterback told his players?
It went over their heads.
111. What kind of ends do you find at the library?
Bookends.
The wide receiver.
For playing dirty.
For persistent fowl play.
Because he was outstanding in his field.
They know how to use their heads.
Because they know how to find the X’s and O’s.
118. What’s the difference between a football player and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
It’s a boo-last.
He wanted to reach the high score.
The punt-line.
Fast food—they need to be quick on their feet.
To have a ball.
To improve his score.
125. What is the most popular sport on the Fourth of July?
Flag football.
To get his quarter back.
127. What’s the difference between a Jets fan and a baby?
The baby will stop whining after a while.
That’s a five-yard penalty for using the force.
The other team: “We forfeit.”
The Chargers.
Because there were no fans at the stadium.
132. Why do Jets fans always carry a map?
Because they can’t find their way into the end zone!
Yes, it had a ball!
It was feeling deflated.
At the cereal bowl.
It got kicked.
A fumble-raptor!
To reach the peak of his game.
To experience the heat of the game.
The ground.
A fence.
The one with the biggest feet.
They were women’s teams.
When they become apparent.
145. Why did Saturday and Sunday make for the best football players?
The other days are weakdays.
Sometimes he even laughs.
He was too shellfish.
148. What did the cat quarterback eat for breakfast before a big game?
Mice Krispies.
Thunder-wear.
It was a-head when the buzzer sounded.
We created a free set of Google Slides featuring all of the football jokes listed above. Just fill out the form on this page to grab them!
If you loved these football jokes, we’ve also got school jokes, math jokes, history jokes, science jokes, grammar jokes, and music jokes.
